Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A poem for the sandwich generation

half finished basement

the time was well past
assembled sibling team
to clear their home

accumulated metaphors
of sixty years ongoing
shed for the new

let go
let go

odours of their life
and ours
stirring deepest mind

disinfectant and decay
dinky toys and building blocks
dust and musty papers

let go
let go

matted dog hair
antique heart things
twenty tons of stuff

boxes of events
boxes of boxes
what were you thinking

let go
let go

unfinished walls
cans of full paint
eroded life plans

what you don't free
dragged away
by loved ones

let go
let
go.

swakeman (28nov11)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Seek ye First- a message to my St. Aidan's family

(Read Matthew 6:19-34)

We in the community of St Aidan's are living in a time of change, uncertainty and perhaps upheaval. We want to believe things will go well in transitioning to our interim pastor and then to a longer term minister. But we only have two guarantees with God because of the blood of Christ- eternity and the promise of intimacy with God no matter what happens.

In Matthew 6:33. We are exhorted to seek first the kingdom of God. This verse is in the context of a longer passage in the gospel that focuses on letting go of control, choosing our focus and following God. Even the Lord's prayer is about letting go of our will and asking for help to cooperate and participate in His will. Jesus challenges us about where our heart is and how it affects our attitude and worldview.

What is this kingdom of God that we are supposed to pursue? The kingdom can be represented by his presence, his power and his purpose in the universe.

The kingdom is his very real presence in our lives and in his creation. It is the ongoing and active expression of his love, his authority, his grace and his Holiness in the day-to-day affairs of each individual, of each creation, of each community and of the universe. We are told that we are already in His kingdom because of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection and our asking Him to be our Lord and Saviour. The kingdom of God has been present since the time of creation, but we have only have direct access to it through the blood of Christ. There are places and people that have not entered the kingdom. Our call is to live in the kingdom, to let it enter more and more of our inner and outer lives and to bring the kingdom to those unreached people and places. The kingdom is here and now and it is to come in its fullness when Christ returns.

How do we pursue the kingdom presence? First of all is to declare your beliefs that he is real, that he is alive, and that he is active. When we go through the chaos of transition, we are challenged as to whether we really believe this. Has God and Christ become a comfortable idea that we hope will continue the status quo? Or do we really believe enough to step out of the boat, keeping our eyes on the face we can really see and walking with him on the waves. Every Sunday we say the Nicene Creed. Yes, these are words of comfort and familiarity, but there are also challenges and a weekly reminder to wake up to the truth.

Secondly, we must put our beliefs into practice. I love the saying (rick warren) that faith is the experience of having left the first trapeze before the new trapeze has arrived! The old map has left, the new map has yet to be delivered. Can we float in suspension, tolerate some lostness, practising the trust that he is present and doing something with all of this? Every day there are opportunities to stop and be with our powerlessness, our abandonment and to breathe and ask the Spirit in to touch those pains rather than acting out with all the things we do to kill the pain.

Thirdly, practice community. We are designed to function best in relationship. We now know that the entire brain lights up and functions more effectively when we are relating to people on an ongoing and intimate manner. In Matthew 18:19-20, we are given the promise that where more than one are gathered, his presence and power will be manifest. Being in community can amplify the presence of God. The Hebrew view of humanity is one of community first, not the individual. This is in contrast to the individual priorities of the Greek culture, which strongly influenced the development of a lot of northern European culture and society. One of the many blessings of our recent time in South Africa and Mozambique was to be in a team where we prayed and encouraged each other daily. It was a real boost to my faith and my experience of God's power and peace from moment to moment.

His kingdom is also expressed by His power, manifested by the Holy Spirit. To practice his kingdom life without this power is ineffective, exhausting and sometimes dangerous. Do you experience the ongoing awareness of the power of the spirit? I know that I don't. I have clearly heard experiences of the physical and emotional reality of the Holy Spirit, but these have been sporadic holiday visits to the ocean of his power and presence. I have learned over the years that living only by the intellectual awareness of God is seriously insufficient for the life that he calls me to. Without the emotional and physical experience of his presence and power, Christianity is reduced to a nice set of ideas and standards. God arranges for us to have experiences where we cannot live the life he has given us on the power of our own strength. This is just as true for individuals as for communities, including St Aidan's. I will challenge us that the Lord has way more for us to experience of his Holy Spirit at St. Aidan's than we are experiencing.

How does God work in us so that there is more open space for his kingdom power to run things? It is through brokenness. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God's response to Paul's request to have his infirmity removed was "my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness". I often refer to these disabling challenges as "the courses I didn't know I was signing up for"! When we accept our wounds, we allow God to anoint them and turn them to wisdom and compassion. So when we are asking for God to make this transition painless, are we stifling the opportunity to manifest his glory in greater ways than before?

God has given me the opportunity over the past five years to learn more about the biology of central nervous system, and specifically how God and the practices of our faith, nourish and strengthen the brain, helping to restore connectedness and centredness. This can serve to heal the wear and tear caused by the past and ongoing trauma of life. God wants his power to enter into our bodies and to flow in every cell of who we are. He allows the upheaval of change to challenge us to open up to more of him in individual and corporate life. When we attempt to bury our powerlessness, we actually set up disconnections in our nervous system that are blockages to his holy spirit flowing through us. The ongoing practice of surrender at his alter opens us up to his healing.

His kingdom is also made manifest in His purpose. This is his will carried out- where the "holy rubber" hits the road. Some of his will is very clear. Repent of your sins, accept Christ as Lord, be baptised, read and digest his word and so on. Some is not so clear and can be very controversial. I will confess that I still really struggle with our approach to gay and lesbian folks. Although I do believe God created us to be man and woman in intimacy, this is only one of many ways in which we have fallen short of his glory. I know the destruction of exiling people because they don't fit into our boxes. And how do you minister the gospel to people who believe that their sexual orientation is normal and to be celebrated? Its not by telling them the rules and hoping they will shape up. I also struggle with the relative comfort of our River Heights church, when I see people everyday struggling with poverty, abuse and illness. Arrgh.

We experience two kingdoms everyday. As illustrated in Hebrews 11. There is the kingdom of Mount Sinai with its harsh judgements, trying to earn your way by works, and the rules, a life of terror and struggle and an unreachable and unpredictable God. What is left for people except to cope by numbing, pleasure and demands for our rights? This is the kingdom of the world and the flesh. We have done a magnificent job of creating our own self kingdom. I must confess that I spend too much time here than in the other kingdom, even though I am a child of the king and belong to Mount Sion, the kingdom of God. When we live there, we experience joy, grace, a lifting up to his vista view, celebration of his glory and our participation in it.

It is good to remember we are surrounded by his grace and love. We don't have to figure everything out. All we have to do in his kingdom purpose is to show up and say yes. He will take our ambivalent little scraps of bread and fish and do mighty things in his power. We need to practice what Darlene encouraged yesterday, stillness with the Father.

When we are anxious or otherwise anguished, God's word is our toolbox to shift back to seeking His kingdom. In Philippians 4:8-9 we are given a list of where to take our minds and bodies to enter his peace.

Lets keep experiencing Mount Zion. We are to give up all of our own agendas . Our need for affirmation. Our need for religious security. Our need to control others to give us what we want. Our need for financial security, need to see others as bad, so we can feel good. Our need for certainty. We can earnestly pray "thy kingdom come, thy will be done ". We will then be free to be empowered by God, to seek his righteousness and to eagerly wait for these things, our needs to be met in Christ.

Stew Wakeman
29 October 2011

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Sparrows of Matola

The Sparrows of Matola

A flitting
In the deep green
Mango leaves
A sparrow
Same black vee chest
Same chestnut cap
A piece of universal home
In a familiar surprise.

We are
All over
Sparrows
We flit
We fall
He sees us
He knows we are all
The same.

S. Wakeman (11 Oct 11) i

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Trying this one more time - the beauty of the cape.

I saw from my face book page that a couple of blog entries had only a title and no content! So here are some shots from our full day tour of the Cape of Good Hope.

The cute penguins at Boulder Beach.

Grandpa Baboon and the grandkids.

One of the 300 varieties of protea bushes.

So many beautiful flowers!

Sandra photographer at The Cape of Good Hope.

An Eland, the sacred animal of the Khoisan tribe.

Mariner's Wharf at Hout Bay with crafts, music, seals, boats and more.

The beauty of Kirstenbosch Gardens.

Cape Town i miss you already...